there's beauty in the breakdown...

My life. My struggles, my blessings, and my gift...

2011-03-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

A friend murdered by an even closer “friend”. Depression that became physically dibilitating. Debt. Switching schools multiple times in fear of my life. A serious accident resulting in years of monetary and legal struggles. Surgeries, one of which almost took my life. Broken relationships, lost friends, a life changed by a move cross country. And now... A family stronger than ever. A career path I never saw myself taking. Relationships teaching me so much about life. Meeting and interacting with sports celebrities and corporate big-wigs. Growing up and learning to manage my finances. An opportunity taken resulting in a big girl job, car, and house of my own. A once in a lifetime trip to Europe with my best friend. Memories and tears of happiness that are priceless. Blessings beyond belief. I have made a conscious decision to start taking more time for me and writing, documeting my journey more often. Having something to reflect on down the road is one of the most healing and rewarding feelings; being able to remember the challenges I've been faced with and seeing how it all worked out is incredible. My life has been jam packed with the highest highs and lowest lows, and to put all of that into words is impossible. But I so try, and not for anyone but myself. On occasion however, God has given me the opportunity to use my story to help inspire others, and as of lately, I think I have found my gift. I truly feel as if I have been given the gift of inspiration. That is a gift that I think everyone has in them, but few use wisely. And I want to use my gift to uplift others. I have been given a carreer in which my every day consists of something as simple as serving coffee. I see an average of 300-500 people a day; most regular faces that I love getting to know. And seeing that many people, one wonders, whats their story? Everyone has a testimony-a story of the path that God has placed them on. Few see it that way, but I want to open peoples eyes to the beauty of life. Being blessed with all that I have, I want to give back. I want to inspire people to pay it forward and do the same. There is one man who comes into my store every morning for his grande nonfat, no foam, extra hot latte. He is a spunky and vulgar redneck man who drives a big truck and lives on a farm. He doesn't have much, but the little he has he uses wisely. Every single morning, when he comes in to get his $4.36 latte (even though I know he doesnt have the money to be spending on Starbucks), he turns to the person behind him in line and asks what they are having this morning. Every morning he purchases coffee and breakfast for a random stranger out of the goodness of his little redneck heart. I can't help but wonder-what if every single person did this random act of kindness once a day? Whether it be paying for someones coffee, letting someone go ahead of them in a line, opening a door for an elderly or handicapped person, or even putting some genuine-ness in the question “How are you doing today?”. So you wanna change the world, what are you waiting for? We all have that power in us, what if everyone started acting on it? I think my newfound passion for inspiration has been brought out by a new and dear friend of mine. Let me tell you a bit about this amazing woman.. Ever since I have moved out to NC, I have been praying for a good, wholesome and uplifting girlfriend to spend time with. I left a handful of amazing friends back in California, and although I have met some incredible people out here, I've yet to find anyone that completes me like my girls back home. A couple months ago, I got to chatting with a new customer about moving, family, and God. I couldn't tell you how it came up, but something about this woman was so different and it was as if her heart was out there on her sleeve. She asked me if I was hiring, which coincidentally I was at the time. Her neice had just moved cross country to live with her to attend ministry school and needed a part time job, so I told her to send her in for an interview. When this girl walked in the door, I already knew she would be perfect for our team. She had a smile and enthusiasm for life that is so rare to find these days, After sitting down with her for an interview, I was completely sold, and hired her onto our team that day. As I have gotten to know this girl, everything about her is what I want in a friend. She has such a passion for life and the Lord, a servants heart, and a story that would give her every reason to be mad at God. And yet, she sees the beauty in everyday life and in every person that she comes in contact with. After spending some time having incredible heart to hearts, I am convinced she is a long lost sister of mine. We clicked instantly, and I love the time I get to spend with her. We have the same views on life, on God, on relationships. We both get super excited about the littlest things and can laugh at ourselves and our blonde moments. I know I may be taking a big risk hanging out with a coworker, but we both have work as our first priority and keep our work life and personal lives seperate. This girl is one of the most inspiring people I have ever met and makes me want to be a better person, I cannot tell you what a blessing she is in my life. As I sit here on my beautiful comfy new couch in my perfect little apartment, I couldnt be happier. My life is crazy insane, and has been full of hurt and depression, as well as blessings and happiness. I think it takes going through hell sometimes to make you appreciate the littlest things. Such as my growing strawberry plants...I have raised those little suckers for the past few weeks and they are starting to grow and turn a little red. Such a small thing with huge symbolism-my strawberries are much like my life and my relationships. A little nurturing and work, a big reward. And so here I am, I've been beaten and broken down, and God has lifted me up and is now molding me into the woman he wants me to be, and I am ready and willing and excited and inspired to see where life takes me. “For I know the plans I have for you...” Lord, I cannot wait.

ch ch ch changes!

2011-03-07T07:16:00.001-08:00

WOW. The past 6 months have been the most incredible of my life thus far. So much has changed, I cannot even begin to explain the extent of the blessings I have experienced...but I will try.

I got out of one relationship and back into another with Blake. He is on his way down to Florida at the moment to relocate and get some work experience under his belt since opportunities down there are better for him right now. He is my best friend and I have no doubt he will succeed if he puts his mind to it.

I got another promotion-am now a store manager of a starbucks! Never saw my life going in this direction but as long as I am here I will work hard and keep moving up the ladder! It is a very stressful and busy position but I am loving it. Never a dull moment!!

Moved into my adorable apartment on the lake in January...I absolutely love it. I love having my own quiet space, the view, decorating, cooking...I am a lil domestic diva these days and I couldnt be happier!

Lindsi comes out to visit next month which I am super excited about. Miss that girl like mad!

Other than that I have been putting a lot of time into organizing volunteer projects...Next month there are two saturdays where my team and I will volunteer at a childrens home, Barium Springs, do some beautification, paint, garden, etcetc...I am very excited about that!!!

My life is crazy, up and down, never sure what changes are going to happen next. Our regional vice pres is visiting my store next week which is INTENSE and exciting. Hopefully he will like what he sees! Lots of cleaning and re organizing to be done today...and the setup for Starbucks 40th anniversary which launches tomorrow! (Try the new tribute blend, its awesome!)

I will try to blog more, havent hooked up internet at my house yet so it may be few and far between for a bit...love to you all and hope all is well with you!

xoxo
britt

There's no such thing as perfect people...

2010-09-03T18:30:00.000-07:00

There's no such thing as perfect people

There's no such thing as a perfect life

So come as you are, broken and scarred

Lift up your heart and be amazed

And be changed

by a perfect God...

There is never a dull moment in my life, I tell ya. 2010 has thus far been so far from how I imagined it would be, and now I sit here at a crossroads with such opportunity ahead that I would be crazy not to let God take the control he is constantly begging me for...

Today my mother and I spent a good hour and a half if not two together in the car on our way to Greensboro to pick up tiffany. We had some much needed conversation about so many important topics from the state of the world these days, to our relationships and the impact every relationship in life has, to what God has been telling us lately. I am so very VERY blessed and thankful for the family I have and the bond and closeness we have all developed. We are a family that has the ability to laugh, cry and hold eachother up in every situation we have encountered. I may be absent from the household much of the time due to my crazy life but the moments I am lucky enough to spend with them are some that I am so very thankful for. In this day and age it is so rare to find a family like ours and I am blessed to be a part of something that is so strong and wholesome in a world that is often quite the opposite.

I have had a pulling feeling on my heart lately that has left me with a gut feeling I have not been able to put my finger on. God has been speaking to me loud and clear and in the midst of life I have admittedly not taken the time to sit back and listen to Him. The lyrics above are from a song called "Perfect people" by natalie grant and it was while listening to that recently that a lot clicked and got me thinking. Many of us strive for perfection in our daily lives, and insecurities cause us to seek recognition for our actions. I am absolutly guilty of trying too hard to get others to notice me and my accomplishments. When it comes down to it though, none of that matters. As important as it is to act with integrity and treat everyone with the respect and dignity that they deserve, it doesn't matter to God that I stayed an extra twenty minutes to finish a project at work, or that I held the door open for a stranger. What matters is the heart, mindset, and relationship that I have with Him. I have let that relationship sit on the backburner slightly as I barely have time to think let alone spend time with God. And yet, that is my own doing. My priorities have been skewed and because of that I hear Him calling out to me to reprioritize in so many ways. Whether it be a random stranger making a comment about my faith, or a worship song coming on the radio at the most perfect time...

It is clear that I am at a point where some changes need to be made.

I miss writing...both on here and in my journal. I miss writing long letters to my friends back in California. I miss those quiet moments to myself of my back porch as the sun is going down. I miss being carefree and giddy...being an adult is a lot harder than you think it is growing up. Bills, bills and more bills have piled up lately raising my stress level, and yet as I sat writing my budget for the next few months I had an odd peace about my life. As if God literally was sitting in my room saying do your best and put more trust in me.

So with all that vague information, I am going to say this; I plan on making some significant changes within myself, my priorities and my attitude within the next 6months. I think that this point in time is a very cruicial one in our world and there isn't a better time to step back from the world and immerse oneself in strengthening those relationships that are most important.

I am going to document my journey as I go, and would appreciate prayers for strength and focus throughout this. I have a lot on my plate and am looking forward to simplifying as well as discovering the woman that God is calling me to be.

A thousand times I’ve failed

Still your mercy remains

Should I stumble again

Still I’m caught in your grace

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing you praise

In my heart, in my soul

I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and praise

Become my embrace

To love you from the inside out

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart

Is to bring you praise

From the inside out of my soul

Lord my soul cries out....

Determination.

2010-07-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

What a crazy past month. I don't know where to begin the update on my life...things are crazy and amazing. Guess I will just try and do my best here, its been awhile again, I barely have time to sleep these days let alone get online for any length of time...
So, Last I wrote I was interviewing for an assistant store manager position at my store...The interview went wonderfully and the hurry up and wait was the worst part. I recieved a call 4 days after the interview that the promotion is MINE! What an exciting way to come back to work-with the motivation and challenge of a new position and more responsibilities. It is more hours and more work, but also a good bit more income too...I really couldn't be happier. So work is great, no complaints just excited to learn and grow.
The social life is goin well...I am dating a wonderful man who treats me so well. I am loving getting to know him and the time we spend together. Our latest mission is to start getting healthy together, eat better and work out which I am excited about. With Doug has come a fun new group of friends, so we are enjoying the summertime with good people. Goin out on the lake, get togethers at my house, his house, friends houses...too fun! We have a 7wk old dwarf bunny named Shelley that we keep at his house most of the time and I swear she is a dog at heart. She responds to her name and loves to snuggle and give kisses, as well as run laps around the room and socialize with anybody and everybody...best $6 I've ever spent! (yep, six bucks...swapmeet bunny! oh the things people sell in the south....teehee)
I owe all my California peeps an apology for being such a bad friend lately.. (I tagged you on facebook in this for a reason!, thinkin about you!) Life has been insane like I said and I wish I had time to sit and chat with y'all for an hour each, or better yet come visit me and let me show you a great time out here! I hope you know you are always welcome to visit and I promise to make it a great time for ya! :)
Lets see what else is new with me...new tattoo on my foot, check out facebook for a picture of that. Its an ambigram...a word that reads "faith" one way and "trust" the other. I love it! Also doing another portfolio photoshoot for my makeup art on the 26th of this month...going to be a ton of fun! Doing makeup and hair, Jo Ellen is taking pictures and I'm going to have my designer purse lady over to sell her purses and jewelry and clothes and stuff...yay! As well as wine and cheese and other tasty treats, come on over ladies!!
The ankle is healing nicely, had a setback for a little bit and the doctor thought it wasn't healing right and that more surgery was a possibility, but swelling has gone down significantly as i get back in the routine of things which is a huuge blessing. God is so good, I love my life!

OH I am still selling AVON so check out the site if you want! Again you can place orders thru me or on my website.

Hope all of you are doing well, love you all!
xoxo

www.avonrepresentative.com/bgreen5062

Back to crazy busy life...

2010-06-12T07:44:00.001-07:00

So this weekend is about my last one for a long time (if ever) where I don't have any work and nothing to stress me out...Time has definitely flown by but I think these past few months have been a huge learning experience and I am so thankful for it.
The ankle is healing up well, I am back on my feet literally! It is still sore as it will be for some time but it is a world off difference and improvement than before. I go back to work on wednesday, and have a HUGE opportunity that I need prayers for on Thursday...my store has earned an assistant manager and I am interviewing for the job! I feel as if this is so perfect right now as I NEED the money and the hours, and also I feel like I am so very qualified for this position as I have been with the company for going on 7 years, in addition to my calm demeanor and knowledge...I think it would be a perfect fit!! Fingers and toes crossed!!!
Another HUGE prayer request...my Poppy has been downtown in the hospital for I believe a week now...went in with chest pains and they have now tested him for everything from heart problems, to kidney problems, to cancer...they still have no idea what is wrong with him, and I just know he is going stir crazy in there. And my poor Grammy has to drive downtown constantly to visit him. I know this is tough on my mom as well because she is torn between being a nurse and being a concerned daughter, so the line is hard to distinguish as far as what she can say or do without getting anyone in trouble. Definitely need prayers for the family.
Another one bites the dust....Brooke graduated 8th grade on thursday! She is now in HIGH SCHOOL! Dang do I feel old. Its so weird how they have all grown up SO very fast...i am now officially the shortest Green girl I believe! We have had a lot of fun as a family these past couple months, from lake days to seeing Wicked (AMAZING!) and enjoying eachothers company, I just don't want anything to change! Time flies way too fast, enjoy it while you can y'all!
I have a new and wonderful man in my life...his name is Doug and he makes me very happy. We have enjoyed a few days out on the lake with friends, are having fun watching the NBA finals (Lakers totally have this!), and honestly the best time I have with him is when we are just lying on the driveway at night looking at stars and talking about life. Its nice when you meet someone you click with and can talk to about anything. I am not rushing into anything but really enjoying spending time with him.
Well I need to get some AVON stuff processed....please check out the website and if you find something you like order through me or the site! Thanks to those of you who have already ordered, I really appreciate it! Keep checking back for new products!!
www.avonrepresentative.com/bgreen5062

Have a great day y'all..will keep you posted about everything!!
xoxo

Check it outttt :)

2010-05-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

Soo as you probably are all aware, recently I had bone and tendon surgery in my foot, and due to that have been unable to work for over two whole months. Because I have not been working and am trying to pay off multiple and very expensive medical bills, I decided to start working from home....
I have chosen to work as an Avon Rep because I truly stand by the causes they support, as well as their products. As both an NC and CA licensed Esthetician, there are many products Avon has to offer that I like and would recommend (Skin So Soft and mark. products are my personal favorites!). As well as great beauty products, there are fun and affordable things for men, women and children- from gifts, house wares, clothing, to even grill accessories and jewelry. I encourage you to check out a catalog as well as my website. (I can get you a catalog, just ask :) )It doesn't matter if you live nearby in Charlotte, In Michigan, Oklahoma, California or even Hawaii...When you see something you like, you can order online or give me a call or an email with the catalog campaign number and product information. It is really easy to do, quick for me to order, and it will be delivered to your doorstep! Ordering through me will be a big help in fundraising for my medical bills. In addition to that, I am very passionate about the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation because of my sweet cousin who lives with this disease,and will be donating money from my Avon sales on a monthly basis to go towards finding a cure. Not to mention Avon itself supports many charities and NPOs such as Finding a Cure for Breast Cancer, BreadforLife, and m.powerment against abuse!

Thank you guys for taking the time to read this! Please browse through a catalog or my website at your convenience and feel free to give me a call, text or email with any orders or even just questions.

B_green927@yahoo.com

www.avonrepresentative.com/bgreen5062

I called, you answered, and you came to my rescue...

2010-05-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

AHH GOD IS SO GOOD! In the midst of all the stress and chaos in my household and running through my head, there's God, just chillin, waiting for me to just LET GO and say "hey, do your thing big man!"
You all know how this surgery business has put a damper on my mood and bank account, and just as I had exhausted all of my options, a job opportunity has presented itself. One that I think would be perfect fit for me at this point in time, and would be financially the biggest blessing ever. For now I need to keep details quiet, but will keep you up to date as I know anything. I need prayers in a major way that I get this job. It would not only help me out, but would be an opportunity to help my family out too. To give back to them for all they have given me. :)
I have a peace like I haven't felt in awhile, and regardless of what happens I am so very determined to keep that feeling. With peace often comes patience which I need to work on, and I'm feeling like there are really good things up ahead for me if I just let life happen and God take the control.
I would just like to switch focus now onto one of the people in my life who have been the biggest blessings. I wrote a super long blog about my family and there are a handful of people who I consider my best friends that deserve some recognition, for now I am just going to pick one and elaborate. I will get to all of you, I promise. :)
Lindsi Morgen, my best friend. This girl has hands down had the most impact on my life of all of my friends. She is inspiring, talented, driven, very educated, eloquent, deep, silly, loving and a little ball of happiness to all who know her...Truly beautiful inside and out. I spent an entire month sleeping in the same bed with this girl as we traveled Europe and never got sick of waking up to that goofball. We can be in a foreign country, a beach in california, my screened porch in north carolina,or just sitting in a room and talk about nothing, anything, and everything from the most ridiculous and silly things to life and family and religon. We are so different and yet have a friendship like none other I have experienced. She has brought so much joy to my life, and I am super excited to say she is moving out to North Carolina hopefully in the fall. She walked in her graduation ceremony this weekend, and with a bachelors in psychology her life is just getting started. I can't wait to see what life has in store for this one.

I will most definitely continue to write about my best friends in blog posts to come. I need to get to building up my resume a bit...
Psalm 118:24, this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!
Happy monday y'all! Enjoy it!
xoxo

Oh hi 4:15am! So nice to see you again...

2010-05-20T01:41:00.001-07:00

Errr...not! Haha. Maybe I wake up at this time because I sleep randomly during the day when I have nothing else to do? Thats about my best guess.

Things at the Green household have been hectic lately, and I think the gravity of the situations going on around me have just started to soak in. As I sat in my front room yesterday with my girlfriends decorating signs and such for my graduating sisters it started to sink in...My little sisters aren't little anymore. And I am a grown up. That hits me at the most random of times, when I really take a second to stop and think about things going on around me. My friend Justina and her hubby just found out they are having a boy, many of my high school friends have babies, are married or engaged to be married, graduating their universities this month, and starting their lives. I'll admit, I have done my life somewhat unconventionally, and sometimes to the disapproval of my family, but where I am at, I couldnt be happier. God's got a plan.

I chose not to go to a 4 yr university for a handful of reasons, mainly I wanted to make money and not spend it. In doing so I was able to gain life experience, wisdom and accomplish so much more than lots of my friends stuck in a classroom. (Not to at all discredit the hard work you amazing people have done!) Let me elaborate. Getting a job as a newly 16 year old and maintaining it for going on 7 years is more than majority of people my age can say. A job with benefits that years down the line has paid for doctors visits, contacts, and now a good portion of major surgery...not to mention more coffee, tea and pastries for my fam and me than most people consume in a lifetime...hmm no wonder I lost all this weight the past month! *giggle*

In addition to that, how many people can say they have travelled the world on their own and on their own dime by the age of 21? I have seen, heard, touched, smelled, felt, walked, tasted, ridden, laughed, cried, danced and sang in the most amazing of places. I have made friends from Germany, Australia, London, Canada, so many states and many more places across the globe. The experiences and emotions felt cannot be put into words no matter how hard I may try, but the fact that I got to do all that with no one but my best friend was absolutely phenomenal. We now share an unspeakable bond that will undoubtedly tie us together for the rest of our lives.

That being said, I digress...my sisters are all grown up! Tiff moves out to UNCG in a couple months, and watching her turn from my lil baby sis to a full on woman within a matter of weeks it seems is enough to bring me to tears. I could not be prouder of the woman that she has become. This girl has made a consious note of my mistakes, learned from them, and in addition to that has just soared beyond the high expectations she has set for herself. Honor roll, prom queen, model/actress, pretty much every guys dream girl (stay away or I will be forced to hurt you :-P), and on top of that she has integrity, faith and a relationship with God that I as her older sister look up to. She is honestly my closest friend and I love the relationship and bond we share...not exactly sure how I am going to handle her not being here, but cannot express how excited I am for whatever her future may hold.

Natalie has blossomed overnight as well...not only is she physically just stunning, but this girl has incredible smarts beyond anyone else her age. Let me just preface her story with the fact that between my parents and I, we are mathematically challenged. And when I say that I mean we are terrible at it and highly dislike it. Hate may even be an appropriate word in my case. Now, Nat went to NC STATE math championships. Like, WOW right?! Studying things they wouldn't dare speak of around me back then haha. Not only that, but she is on honor roll, played volleyball and soccer this year as a freshman, again has a relationship with God to be admired, and has developed some of the most incredible art skills and sense of style. This girl can pick up a sketchbook and freehand a set of stairs, a plant, or a scene and make it look just inspired. She is starting to notice boys which to be blunt scares the crap outta me, because she is like a younger version of me in a sense, and I know how oblivious and naive I was/still am when it comes to relationships...heartbreak is one of those things everyone experiences, and although I have a feeling she will be more the heartbreaker, I still never want to see her get hurt like that. Thank goodness we have the type of relationship where we can talk and share experiences, and again, boys watch out, I will be your worst enemy if you hurt my girls!

Then there is Brookie. The age difference between us has always prevented us from having much in common, and unfortunately we weren't as close as I would've liked until recently. But this girl has amazed me with her constant cheery and peppy attitude, her compassion and affection for everyone and everything from small animals, to babies, to her peers, elders...you name it, this girl is just the epitome of a sweetheart. She is the kind of girl that will give you her jacket if its snowing, stick up for a friend being made fun of, and tell the boys off for being perverted...you go girl! She has always enjoyed dancing around the house and making up cheers, and just as of the past 2 yrs started dancing and cheering. JUST 2 YEARS...and she just made the VARSITY cheer team for next year as a freshman in high school!!!!! I am so exstatic for her. The light and positivity this teenager brings to this world is incredible. Academically she is a lot how I was, not super focused, but just yearning to be let out and have life experience. She works with the kiddos at church, quotes bible verses daily, and Between her talents and incredible attitude, I know she is going to do such great things.

Lots of people during my lifetime have asked me why I am the way I am, why my sisters are the way they are, and how come all of us have turned out to be so mature and compassionate for our young ages...being "grown up" and able to see a tiny bit more of the bigger picture, I will once again say what I have said so many times before...my parents. My parents have created an enviornment in which we are encouraged to set the bar higher. Be the exception, and don't let anything seem unnattainable. God has been present daily in our family life, during prayer at meals, church and church groups during the week, and clearly in my parents marraige and parenting. When most parents would give in to be their childs friend, my parents stood together and PARENTED. Now years later, the friendship and respect I have for them for all that they have put up with and overcome is astonishing. Although we argue as all families do, the bond the 6 of us have is completely unbreakable. No matter where we move to, travel to, or any mistakes any of us could make, we've got love like no other that will tie us together regardess.

Well, hows that for deep, 0'dark thirty!? Y'all see why I need to get back to workin? :)

In conclusion to this essay I have written about my fabulous family, I would like to wrap it up with the lyrics to a song called "Fingerprints of God" that has touched my heart and I hope that my sisters read this and get something from it as well. I love you guys!!!

and a happy thursday to anyone else who has read my ramblings thus far! xoxo!

I can see the tears filling Your eyes And I know where they're coming from

They're coming from a heart that's broken in two

By what you don't see

The person in the mirror

Doesn't look like the magazine

Oh, but when I look at you it's clear to me that...
I can see the fingerprints of God When I look at you

I can see the fingerprints of God And I know it's true

You're a masterpiece That all creation quietly applauds

And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again Will there be another you

Fashioned by God's hand And perfectly planned

To be just who you are

And what He's been creating Since the first beat of your heart

Is a living breathing priceless work of art and...

I can see the fingerprints of God When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Just look at you You're a wonder in the making

Oh, and God's not through, no In fact,

He's just getting started.....

Been awhile...

2010-05-11T03:20:00.000-07:00

It is 620am. I have been up tossing and turning since about 430...figured I'd migrate from my bed onto the screened porch to listen to the birds and enjoy the quiet before everyone starts their day. I was a little frustrated at first but hey, I've got another month+ to sleep, why not take advantage of a crisp quiet early morning? :)
I am on week 6 of recovery and SO ready to be back to "normal" life. I've always known patience isn't exactly a strength of mine but dang! I am counting down the days til I am off crutches, then out of the boot, then back to work...surely I will look back at this and kick myself when I am back working full time but oh well.
The first two weeks were really tough, the pain I experienced was unlike anything I have ever dealt with before. I had completely torn my peroneal tendon in my right ankle over time because of a bone that was too long...so I had tendon repair and reconstructive bone surgery, leaving me with about a 6 inch scar on my foot/ankle and a 2 inch scar on the top of my foot. After those first two weeks though of staying in bed every minute of every day, I got a boot put on and got the ok to get out a little more on my crutches. Blake kindly came and kidnapped me so I could get a change of scenery, and I spent some time with him at the beach and he was great about keeping my spirits up. Got to spend a little time with his family and I enjoyed lying on the balcony with my foot up soaking up the sun while he was working, we'd cook dinner and watch movies and I had a great time.
Now being back I am trying to keep myself occupied...had a great Mothers day out on lake norman with my grammy and poppy and my fam, hung out and caught up with my friend Kyla the other day, and went out last night for a bit to Fox and Hound. I think some girls from work and I are going to paint pottery later this week which should be fun! Other than trying to stay positive and have little things to look forward to, I have started taking time for me which is good. In the midst of life it is easy to lose yourself to a job or friends, and so I have been spending time journaling and working out, eating healthy (lost 10 lbs in a week, yay!)...I need to spend more time with my Tiffy as she is moving out in a couple months to go to school. So weird how fast everyone grows up and how time flies the older you get...Lindsi is planning on moving out here in the fall which I am SO looking forward to, I know that'll be here before I know it!!
Well the sun is about up and the girls are getting ready for school, wish I could fall back to sleep but instead will probably work out a bit and cuddle up with the puppy and watch a movie. I hope all of you have a fabulous day/week, xoxo!

A Time for Everything

2010-03-13T13:45:00.000-08:00

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
(ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Here I am again, sitting in my favorite spot in the world..my screened in porch...on a gorgeous rainy spring day. I have my puppy at my side, a glass of red wine in hand, and nothing but the sounds of the birds in the trees to distract as I sit here. This verse has really been on my heart lately as my life is changing daily and I am reminded to put my own selfish plans aside and just go with the flow, enjoy what I have been given and just listen and wait for God to reveal his plans for me.
I had a wonderful few days back home with family and both new and old friends, it was awesome to get away for a bit and just let loose. I ate way too much frozen yogurt, went out on the town with the girls, kicked back at an apartment with good people, spent time relaxing with my wonderful family...not one complaint at all, it was a perfect trip!
I am very ready for these next few months to fly by...10 weeks of recovery then SUMMER! sounds as if some of my good friends will come visit which I am very excited for, cant wait to introduce my friends from both sides of the US to eachother and take them all out to experience charlotte, lake norman, my cooking... ;) Eeek sooo excited!! I really do have the best friends in the world, THANK YOU all so much for being there for me thru thick and thin, it means the world!!
Again, this is a less than eloquently written blog...I think I am a little rusty lately as I have been slackin with this bloggin thing. Sorry sorry! Hope all is well with you, blogworld...enjoy this weekend wherever you may spend it!!
xoxo

Dear 2010...

2010-02-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

...You kinda suck so far.

Been a really difficult past few weeks...I have the health problems of an elderly woman, some backstabbing "friends", not enough money to pay my bills and not enough hours in the day to work enough to make more money. *sigh*.
However! With the bad there is good and light at the end of the tunnel (or so I'd like to think). I mean, it could always be worse, and I do have a great group of friends and family that are such a supportive blessing to me. And maybe this upcoming 10 weeks of being bedridden are Gods way of telling me to slow down and re-evaluate. Whatever the case may be, I am trying my hardest to put a smile on and push thru with a positive attitude. Although I don't like surgery and I am pretty nervous about it truth be told...
On a very different and happy note, I am going home in 6 days!!!!!!! I cannot wait to see everyone!!!! And eat fro-yo and lollicup and in n out!!!! Oh man. Beach, bests, burgers. Does it even get better than that!?!? I really don't think so! Having a get together at the Yard House which I am pretty excited about, Lindsi got the weekend off so I get to spend a good amount of time with her, got a truck to use which is a huuugeee blessing, and fingers crossed for some good beach weather! Pretty excited to say the least!
Random tidbit...my awesome sister has now gotten accepted to all of the schools she applied for and has to face the lifechanging choice of which one to go to! Prayers for her sanity would be fabulous as she is a little..ok a lot, overwhelmed. Shes such a good kid though so I know she will do great wherever she chooses to go.
Hope you all are doing well...

PS, KALEB GETS TO GO HOME TOdAY! Happy for you guys, Kristi!!!!! LOVE YOU!

End of another year...

2009-12-29T10:02:00.000-08:00

Can you even believe it?!? This has been one of the most eventful, exciting, and crazy fun years of my life. I have literally traveled the world, adjusted to my new home, developed some new incredible friendships, maintained friendships with my california amigos, spent another year working for starbucks, bought my first brand new car, and created some memories that will never be forgotton. My Grammy and Poppy moved out here, Gramma and Grampa surprised us all for Dads 50th bday, had a fun girls night out at the irvine spectrum with my favorite cousins, bonded with my sisters more thru dance parties, game nights, cooking, shopping trips, fights that turn into tears and laughter, and now playing Wii games together, almost all of my favorite friends have come to visit me... wow. I am so thankful for each and every moment, good and bad and the ups and downs I have been blessed with. it has been quite a year, trying at times to say the least, but the good times outweigh the bad by far and as this year comes to a close I am excited beyond belief for what this new year holds. I have new friends to create new memories with, a few trips to look forward to, a second job to be thankful for, 20lbs of europe weight to lose, my friend Mike back on american soil...lots to accomplish and lots to look forward to!

Thank you to all of you for being such a big part of my life. Love you all!!!

Happy Monday!

2009-11-16T08:27:00.000-08:00

Good Monday Morning blogworld!

What an absolutely FABULOUS and beautiful fall carolina day!!!! Its been a really good past few days...Working a lot, spending time with good people, reading some good books...
Yesterday I spent some quiet time in my new favorite place, Blythe Park...took a book and sat in the sun for a couple of hours by myself just enjoying the scenery and all God has given me. Then went to lunch at a nice italian place with Blake, caught up with Lauren at Starbucks and had a wonderful pasta/wine/baked brie dinner with Mayya, Jo ellen, and Veronica. I love my friends!

It has been a great week...bought my very own BRAND NEW 2010 toyota corolla!!!! Finally a big girl car!! Got the big girl bills to go along with it but hey, gotta grow up sometime right? Getting my financial ducks in order, working hard to pay the bills, and being oh so thankful for all I have been given. My soul feels refreshed these days, something in me has changed for the better and I love it :)

My friend Christina is heading to Africa in a few days on a mission trip...her generosity and giving spirit has really got me thinking that I would love to go to Africa someday. Hopefully someday soon! The heartwarming stories I have heard about the sweet people that live there would really be humbling and good for me I think. Prayers for her safety would be wonderful!

If you havent already, read Kristi's latest posting... (Kristibowers.blogspot.com) GOD IS SO GOOD! Get chills and teary eyed every time I think about what He has done in her life. Continued prayers for the health of her family is so appreciated, the power of prayer is more incredible than any of us know, and our family has gotten a firsthand glimpse of Gods power this week. Breathtaking!!!

Well I am going to lounge around for awhile with my pup before heading into work, I hope that all of you enjoy this pretty day, whether in carolina, california or elsewhere...Love you all so much!

My Everything.

2009-11-09T17:25:00.000-08:00

Find me here, speak to me

I want to feel you, I need to hear you

You are the light that's leading me to the place

Where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the life to my soul

You are my purpose

You're everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

You calm the storms and you give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall

You still my heart and you take my breath away

Would you take me in, take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

Cause you're all I want, you're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want You're all I need

You're everything, everything

(Everything by Lifehouse)

My God is so good. I cannot emphasize that enough. So amazing how at a time when I have every reason to be so down, He gives me peace, healing, comfort and a reason to wake up smiling in the morning. Really not anything that can be verbalized, just a peaceful feeling. A feeling that I am so incredibly thankful for and a feeling I want to share with everyone. Definitely needed to go thru everything I have to bring me back to my knees both literally and figuratively, to remember that when all else fails and there are worldly inconsistancies that One will be consistantly there.

Praying for my sweet cousin Kristi tonight, for a peace and relaxed state of mind as she has surgery soon. And, for her family to find healing from all the yucky sicknesses that are going around. Love you Kris!
Also for Mikey as he finishes up his tour, and all my friends who are struggling to get through school and find good jobs. I am missing home and all of you so very much, but really do think and pray for you by name daily.

For the first time in a long time, I have no idea what is next for me. I hope for a new career, more travel opportunities, to meet "Mr Right" etc etc...but I am doing my best to have patience and faith that everything will fall into place as it should. As it always does.

Opening in the morning, on that note, i am getting to bed early. Love you all so very much.

Times like these

2009-11-08T11:49:00.000-08:00

So its been a crazy past week. Emotional ups and downs, lots of tears and hard work, but times like these really force you to take a look at yourself and dig deep, ya know? In the midst of dissapointment and stress I am proud to say I have spend a good amount of time with God and taking time to be selfish and work on myself. I am so very far from perfect as hard as I may try, and it is just thrown in your face hard sometimes that everyone messes up. I am very thankful for my great support system of family and good friends who love me unconditionally even when (especially when) I make mistakes and bad choices. Not to say anything lately has been a bad choice, I am very happy for my relationship, all I learned and the friendship(s) that was/were developed.

On another note, heard from Mikey! He gets home the first week of next month and I am so excited to catch up with him. So glad he has made it thru this crazy time safely and sanely as possible. His plans now are to go to law school and he says he wants to run for senate...if anyone can do it he can...gotta love the political man that is Mike Cicerone! haha.

Workin on planning my next trip, VEGAS and CALIFORNIA end of february with Lauren! ALL MY CALIFORNIA GIRLS...get your lil butts out to vegas and then help me show lauren a good time! Gunna do all the touristy stuff..Laguna, Hollywood, San Diego...etcetc. WOOWOO!

anyways, time for wine and cheese with my friend Jo Ellen...will try to keep up on this blogging stuff:)

love you all!!

2009-11-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

Been Awhile...

2009-10-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

I am so bad at this blogging thing. Ever since getting backf rom Europe its been one thing after another...getting really sick, my boyfriend getting sick, working too much, trying to catch up on sleep and sort out all the incredible things I experienced abroad...exhausting to say the least. I experienced a bit of post vacation depression, as you do with any huge lifechanging event and growing/learning experience. Part of the reason I haven't gone into much detail about my trip with anyone. It is frusterating to have experienced such incredible and breathtaking things and not be able to find words to describe the emotions I have felt. Its almost like Lindsi and I have this special bond through the experience we had traveling the world and it is our private special experience. Now ay to share what we went thru with anyone else as they werent there and couldnt possibly have experienced all that we did. So I apologize for the lack of what may seem like excitement, I am still pinching myself over this trip and wishing on a daily basis I could take a handfull of you all and go back and do it all over again. I would in a heartbeat.

Linds and I did great together, got along perfectly, had the best conversations and got so much closer thru the vacationing together. She is without a doubt my best friend and will be forever. So blessed to have her in my life!

Again, sorry I am having trouble putting everything into words. Its still just overwhelming.

Other than Europe and trying to pull myself together I am doing well. Just enjoying the changing of the leaves, new friends, and spending time with my fabulous boyfriend. Couldnt really ask for more! We are going to Myrtle Beach this weekend to spend Blakes birthday with his family...I wanted to throw him a party but he just wants to do something low key with his family and me. I think itll be fun regardless, we always have a good time together.

Oh and Grammy and Poppy moved out here! It is so cool having them literally down the street from us!

Prayers for my sweet cousin Kristi would be appreciated...she has been sick and dealing with a lot. Hopefully this will be a week of answers, but prayer for her that she would find healing and peace would be great.

Well I am off to work another looonngg day, makin that money money! Gorgeous day out today, hope you all have a great Monday!

Bon Voyage!

2009-08-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

This will most likely be my last post before leaving for Europe...so much to do still and just praying that it all falls into place as planned.
I am so nervous/excited for all the traveling, growing and learning Lindsi and i are going to do this next month. I am blessed beyond belief to have this incredible opportunity!

I am going to try to send out emails as much as possible to keep everyone posted on our whereabouts...will not have a phone but will do our best to keep in touch!

I want to say thank you again to everyone who has made this possible with words of encouragement, early birthday money, and above all prayers. It is going to be the trip of a lifetime that I cannot wait to share with you all. Will miss my family/friends/Blake so much but its going to be amazing! As you can tell I am pretty pumped :)

Wish you all a safe, happy and healthy September! Please please feel free to send me an email at B_green927@yahoo.com to keep up on my travels!!!

love love love!

So much to do, so little time...

2009-08-21T16:44:00.001-07:00

So much has happened in these past couple months, I really do not know where to begin. Should've kept up with my blog that's for sure...but life happens, you get busy...

Lets see, went to CA, had a great time catching up with family and friends. Little exhausting and a bit of a stomach bug hit me, otherwise was a perfect perfect trip.

I feel as if I have finally adjusted to this place, enough to call it my home. Its a scary thought really, and overwhelming to think of what has gone on this past year alone. More growth and change on my part in these past few months than I could've imagined. I am excited to report that my Grammy and Poppy recently bought a house out here and will be living about a mile from us as of next month! God is so good, this house of theirs was seriously made for them. So cool!

In case you haven't heard/seen pictures, I have an amazing boyfriend, Blake... My southern gentleman. He and I have the best time together, from vacationing at the beach, going out on the lake with friends, cooking together or just putting on PJs and renting a movie...its so great. He is such a blessing and I adore him.

My big birthday trip to Europe is right around the corner! Less than 2 weeks, I cannot even believe it. Hoping everything works out smoothly and we don't run out of money while we are there. Prayers for a safe and smooth trip are so so very appreciated!!!!!

So recap...Have the best family and friends ever, love my boyfriend, excited to travel, oh and got a tattoo :)

Continued prayers for Mike in Afghanistan are so needed, I hear from him every once in awhile, he is a trooper with such a great attitude.

Love you all and will try to be better with this bloggin stuff!!!

excited&BLESSED!

2009-06-28T09:05:00.001-07:00

Another aamazingly gorgeous Carolina weekend, and can't help but be reminded of how incredibly blessed I am. God is SO good, words cannot even begin to describe. I have been given the coolest opportunities and and starting to develop some amazing new friendships, it is amazing what happens when you learn to just let go and let Him work. I am a completely different person than I was this time last year, a better, more mature, patient and more faithful person. Still incredibly flawed, but accepting of my flaws and able to be content letting God do His work in my life.

I bought the new Rascal Flatts CD, and theres a song called "Things that Matter" that I love. Download it/read these lyrics...

Sometimes he lets that boss get in his head
He can’t see past that mountain of deadlines on his desk
5oclock he’s that last one out of the gate
And he gets cut off flipped off ticked off out on the interstate
And he wonders why this world won’t leave him alone
Till he hears that little voice holler “daddy’s home”
Things that matter
Things that don’t
She’s held on to that grudge all her life
Had thirty years of anger
Since her dad walked out that night
She thinks of all the moments that he's missed
All the birthdays ballets first dates
That seems too much to forget
She gets that call that said he don’t have long
She walks in
He starts crying
The past is gone
Things that matter
Things that don’t
Time ain’t on my side
Don’t want to leave this world
With why didn’t I?
Why didn’t I?
Yeah why didn’t I?
Sometimes I take on this world by myself
Thinking I got all the answers
Don’t need anybody’s help
Well God was right there waiting for me all along
To fall down on my knees surrender all
Things that matter
Things that don’t
Things that matter
Things that don’t

Such a good song. And I am excited to be seeing them on August 1st here in Charlotte with my new friends! Going to be so much fun!
In addition to having that to look forward to, I am going home in about 2 weeks and absolutely cannot wait!!!!!! Going to be so good to see family and friends!!! Prayers that that trip goes smoothly..
Then a month of work work work, and then EUROPE with my best friend. Cannot believe it is coming up so quickly. CRAZY!!!
I am seriously so blessed and excited for all the awesome opportunities I have coming up. Takin life a day at a time and enjoying every minute of it.

Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend, look forward to seein my CA/OK family and friends soon! LOVE YOU ALL!

Heads Carolina, Tails California...

2009-06-23T18:55:00.000-07:00

MAN it has been a whole 23 days since I have last written...I know, I know, I am slackin! Keeping busy though which is good. Lets see what has been going on over here...
Well, my Kelley Anne came out and visited me! We had a great time...went to Lazy 5 Ranch, out tubing on the lake, went uptown for Taste of Charlotte and to a couple nightclubs. Then Justin came up from South Carolina for a couple days and we BBQd and went to the theme park out here, Carowinds. It was such a nice weekend with my friends!! Hangin out with them made me realize how homesick I am...how much I miss the beach and my best friends back in CA.
I have made some great friends here, finally got out and went on some dates, been exploring my new home and loving it. Got to be the Esthetician for another "beauty party" at my neighbors...building up my clientele doing facials and waxing! Yay! Have the opportunity to get an assistant manager position at a starbucks out here which I may take advantage of for the time being. Save some money, enjoy the south...who would've thought I'd end up country!
I booked a trip back home on a whim this week...going to be back in good ol OC mid-July for a week. I love California summers too much to stay away! Not to mention all my incredible friends. Having a beach day July 17th at Laguna main beach...Be there!
Well going to cuz this short, gotta catch up on The Bachelorette! (Priotities, ya know!?)
Hope y'all are doing well, will write more later in the week...
OH PS!
saw my first fireflies!!!! They are the coolest stinkin things ever!!!!!

Strength Will Rise As We Wait Upon the Lord.

2009-06-01T18:06:00.000-07:00

Patience. A daily struggle for me. I sit here typing on a brand new laptop because I dropped my trusty toshiba (RIP ALL my pictures, music, school stuff... sad face..) and could not wait to get another computer. I didn't have the patience...didn't have the patience to share my family computer a mere 20 feet from my room...didn't have the patience to save up for the macbook I reallllyy wanted. Patience, as you can tell, is not at all my strong suit. Oh well. I will continue to work on it...

I love the Chris Tomlin song "Everlasting". Download it if you haven't heard it. It is like a breath of fresh air. A reminder that patience pays off, and that God will be there forever and ever, regardless. A nice peace to have knowing that when everything else is fleeting, there is one and one alone that will never be broken down. I have been faced with the challenge of losing friends this past year, as well as learning to trust new ones, and it is tough stuff. But striving to be more Christ-like in my daily life really has made a difference in my relationships and the way I view people; individuals. It is really cool and inexplicable.
I was over at my friend Ambers apartment the other night, sitting around the community fire pit with an array of different people of different ethnicity's and upbringings...and some of us got into God conversations, topics of upbringings came up, and hearing these stories and testimonies just got me thinking and verbalizing how astonishingly thankful I am for my functional family. If you haven't had the pleasure of getting to know my family, you are missing out. My parents are hands down the best parents anyone could ask for. I can say this in retrospect after years of temper tantrums, "i hate yous" and arguments. I can honestly say my parents are my best friends, and it is because of the love they have for God and eachother, and the morals they committed to instilling in my sisters and me, even when being the "cool parent" would've been so much easier. They didn't give up. They didn't give in. THAT is what makes all the difference.THAT is what is so rare to find these days, THAT is what I want. I want someone who loves God with all that they are, someone to hold accountable and pray with, someone to pray for the family at the dinner table and lead a life that is one to be proud of. I am so thankful that because of my parents and the faith they have shared with me, the bar has been set higher. SO thankful.
I just got distracted...remembered I need to go write some thank you notes...Mike sent me the softest blanket ever from Kyrgyzstan (SP?!), and his mommy sent me some pictures of him all dressed up handsome in his uniform...He's such a trooper.
Man, another scatterbrained and less than eloquently written post...forgive me as I have been up since 4 am. About bed time for me!

If you are reading this, I really appreciate you taking the time to read about my random ramblings. And if you have been given this site by me, please know that you are extremely important to my life, whether living 5 minutes or 5 days away. You are a blessing to me and I love you!

:)

Good luck to you all as the summer approaches, whether you are finishing up school/teaching, or just preparing for a full summer of work or being home with kids...praying for and thinking of you.

3 Months and Counting!

2009-05-27T15:53:00.000-07:00

Just a little over 3 months til my big Europe trip with Lindsi! Words cannot express the excitement and nervousness I have about this trip... I have traveled a bunch these past couple years without my family/with friends. But going on a month long trip to many countries with my best friend...going to be the trip of a lifetime without a doubt. I CANNOT wait!
I am most nervous about packing lightly, those of you that know me well know that I like to look cute and match and all that girly stuff...definitely not going to happen on this trip. And you know what, I am going to learn how to be just fine with that! :)
Bought a gown for formal night on the cruise though, it is GORGEOUS. Definitely flatters my body type and is all black so i can dress it up fun...will post a picture below with a bunch of pics of the places I am going that I googled!
So heres a basic summary of the trip...
Sept 2...Fly from Charlotte to Reykjavik Iceland...then Iceland to London on sept 3
Enjoy London for couple days
Cruise from Sept 5-19th to....
Amsterdam(Netherlands),Brugge(Belgium), Paris(France), Cork(Ireland), Santiago de Compostela(Spain), Lisbon (portugal), Gibraltar(UK), Barcelona(Spain)Cannes(France)Florence/Pisa(Italy) then land in ROME!
Spend a few days in Rome...Vatican City, Coliseum, Pantheon..all that awesome stuff.Then going up to Florence/Chianti Valley for a couple days...
Then overnight train ride to Munich! Traveling Germany, Austria maybe Switzerland for a week while staying with Lindsi's friend. Spending my 21st birthday at Oktoberfest in Munich!
Flying from Frankfurt back to Charlotte on Sept 29th..
Then hopefully having a lil bday cookout at my house to show off my pictures and share foreign wine and chocolates with my NC friends :)
I am so blessed to have been given this opportunity. God is so good!
Heres some pictures I googled of a few places I am going...*BIG BIG SMILE!*

As you can tell I love food. That is probably on the "top 3 things I am most excited for" list.
If any of you have been to any of the places I am going, I would absolutely LOVE any tips/pointers/info you have to offer! :)
Hope you are all having a great week!

Pay it Forward.

2009-05-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

Imitating Christ's Humility

¹If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ²then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ³Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
⁶Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
⁹Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

We studied this in church this morning. It really stuck out to me...this is how I WANT to live my life. I WANT to be that light...to fully embody it, exude it, and put others needs above my own at all times. And not just when it is convenient-I want to do it when it is most inconvenient because that is what Jesus did for me. I am sure it wasn't on the top of his "what I'd like to accomplish today" list; to die a horrible painful death to save you and I, but he did it. I feel like for the first time in a long time, no, the first time in my entire life, I can fully say I surrender ALL and mean it. I can fully ask for forgiveness for ALL of my sins, even the deep dark ones I have been hiding afraid to expose, and say take me, love me, use me for Your will. There is no better feeling than making someones day with a random act of kindness. That is what I will strive to do every day, put a smile on when I don't feel like it and go out of my comfort zone to serve others, just as Christ did for ME.

The Greek word "Chara" means to have joy and a calm delight, and the word "Phroneo" means to have a single minded focus and attitude (On GOD). And the word "Doulos" literally means to be a slave/servant. Those words mean so much more when put like that...we hear the words joy, serve, attitude on a regular basis, but when tied together and the root word exposed, along with the passage above...It has such a deeper meaning. My pastor, Mike, did a great job explaining this concept today. There was a story I heard at chruch...a couple was out walking together and got stuck in the middle of a massive downpour. And instead of being grumpy, they looked at eachother and laughed, and enjoyed eachothers company while walking in the rain. The analogy that was given is that we are all facing storms at some point in our lives, and sometimes its best to just let it happen, understand you can't fight it, find something to smile about. I can honestly say my cousin Kristi has done this and been the best example of what it means to strive to be like Christ in difficult and trying situations. (read just a bit of her blog and you will see what I mean...Love you Kris!) THATS what I want to do...

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus...

Unwritten.

2009-05-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

I really love the lyrics to this song...

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

<3

Lots goin on!

2009-05-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

Man it has been one crazy and awesome past week!! Went to my first NASCAR race! I must say, I am a fan now. I know, ME?!? Lil Miss make fun of those nascar lovin' hicks?! Yup. At least, being there is awesome. It is quite a rush, hearing the cars, watching the people, meeting new people..so fun!
I was running all over the place, went with Amber and her friends and then saw my friend Jordon for awhile...Dad and Tiff were there somewhere too but didn't end up meeting up with them. Was a great time!!!!

Got an informative email from Mike today, it is very intense and things are going to get crazy for our troops quickly here...Considered posting it for prayers, but I believe it is too much info to just be posting online. Sent out an email to some family, but if you are interested in specifics and what to look out for and pray for, feel free to contact me and I can pass along what he sent me!!

Its another gorgeous day...gunna grab some food and catch up on some shows. Heres a couple picstures from the race saturday...Will write more when I am not so exhaustedd!

Have a great week!

Beautiful day at the Biltmore!!

2009-05-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

I had such a wonderful day today!
Jo Ellen and I went to the Biltmore House in Asheville...it was amazing! Weather was perfect, not too crowded, got to tour the amazing house with an audio guide, spent hours in the garden, hiked beautiful trails to a waterfall, went to the winery and learned all about the wine making process, then ended the day with an amazinggg dinner at the Arbor grill. Its seeing things like I saw today, the natural beauty and the architecture that has withstood decades, that just confirms my faith for me yet again. How can one see the beauty of this world and not believe in the Creator?
My God is an awesome God.
Take a look at a few of the breathtaking things we got to see today...

Things I love!

2009-05-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

Jesus.
Music.
Dad. Mom.Tiff.Nat.Brooke...Family.
Calamari Lillian.
Beach.
Sun.
Trees.
Lindsi. Kelley. Jacqueline.Mikey, Garrett...Best Friends.
Letters in the mail.
My bed.
The Bible.
Writing.
Amber, Kyla, Christina, Jo Ellen, Nick....New Friends.
Laughing till your stomach hurts.
Simply Cuddling.
Carolina Winters.
Makeup.
California Summers.
Green tea lemonades&Iced coffee....starbucks.
Hawaii.
Forehead kisses&big bear hugs.
Random acts of kindness...giving and receiving.
Traveling.
Marilyn Monroe.
Food.
Martini Glasses.
Cooking.
Tubing on the lake.
Feeling pretty.
A good workout.
Giving massages.
Water.

Random? Yes. Just thought I would share some things that I love love love!

Miss my Marine!

2009-05-08T19:20:00.001-07:00

Mike has only been gone 24 hours and I already miss him like crazy!! I've written 6 letters, i know, pathetic! Makes me realize how much we talked...I'll think of something I usually would text or call him about, whether a song lyric, bible verse, joke, or something stupid I did that I know he would laugh at...and I can't text him sooo I write a letter. Poor guy is going to be so sick of me sending him mail every day. Haha.
On the upside, I'm sure my phone bill is going to be significantly lower! hehehe.
If anyone knows of things marines need/want while overseas, let me know. He played the whole "I am a tough guy and don't need anyone/anything to survive" thing, but I know him, therefore I will send care packages because I know it will make his day.

Umm on another note, this time in 4 months I will be on a cruise ship with my very best friend after a long day in PARIS! Holy cow. I cannot wait!

Praying for the people in Santa Barbara tonight, I do not miss the California wildfires one bit and pray for safety and protection for those affected by them.

10:30 on a Friday night... Dinner with the fam, and I had a fabulous date with my puppy tonight...rented Yes Man, got some ice cream, cuddled with Cali and relaxed. Laundry and bed time for me! Nice to not have to rush to be anywhere. :)

Enjoy the weekend y'all!

Fireproof.

2009-05-07T06:43:00.000-07:00

It's another amazingly beautiful morning out here on my porch...It has been storming like crazy for the past couple days and this morning there is a break in the clouds and the sun is peeking through, the trees getting breezy. *Big smile!* I LOVE IT! It is amazing how lush and green it gets out here and how fast the seasons turn over. I love having a place to go and sit, think, pray, relax, and enjoy my surroundings. I've been a bit stressed the past couple days but I have a new peace about everything this morning. Mikey flies to Afghanistan today, I have been freaking out but after talking to him nonstop the past few days, I know he is a fighter, the type of fighter we need out there. I have faith that God is going to use him for good and bring him and his buddies back safely.

"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it."
I rented the movie Fireproof yesterday...I highly recommend this movie to anyone and everyone. It has completely changed my view on relationships and how extremely important faith and communication is in a marriage. It really has something for everyone, whether single, married, young or old...there is much to be learned from this movie. Not to mention the music is wonderful!...

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord
-While I'm Waiting by John Waller

I have been debating on what to do while out here as far as work and where I want to be, where God wants me to be. My new friend Amber and I decided to go back to school together after I get back from Europe, and get our CNA (nursing assistant)! We are the kind of people who need accountability with school so we decided we will do it together. I am excited! This will further my education and along with my Esthetician license make me more appealing to potential employers. And from there, who knows. Maybe more travel opportunities will be given to me before I get my career going, or maybe I will know where I should be living by then and will get a place and settle down and get my career established. I am excited and feel like I have been given a world of opportunites (literally!). It is a really cool feeling.

I should probably get up and ready for the day, but I will leave you with a passage that I love...
James 1:19-25
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

This has been kind of a scatterbrained post..I am all over the place with my thoughts today so forgive the randomness of it all...
OH!
Please keep my cousin Kaleb in your prayers, as he is in the hospital...
as well as Mikey as he flies out today...

I'm outta here, Have a great day!!

Phil. 4:13

2009-05-04T19:07:00.001-07:00

"I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me."

I need to write this 100 times like they make you do when you misbehave in elementary school to engrave a fact into your brain. Life is so tough. I am trying so hard to stay positive and it is really really wearing on me.
I got another completely heartbreaking and scary letter from Jon today, and have realized I am an idiot for allowing myself to become so consumed with this all. I have internalized the situation to a point where I am in a very dangerous position. I don't want to be involved. I don't. I just care too much...yeah, I think that is my problem. I genuinely care too much. About everything and everyone. And I think I put everyone elses needs and even their wants above my own in the wrong times, and its wearing me out.
Mikey leaves for Afghanistan on Wednesday and that honestly scares the crap out of me. He and I have gotten so very close the past year or so...he makes me laugh like no one else can, is like the obnoxious best friend and yet understands my fears and faith...hes a very good person who is going to fight in this war with very pure intentions. The pride he has in his country is that like I have never seen or heard of-Mike is the epitome of what it is to be a true American and the respect I have for him is unmeasurable. I will send him care packages on a weekly basis and pray for him daily, that he fights a good fight and returns home safe and sound.
My cousin Kaleb has a disease called Cystic Fibrosis (If you are unfamiliar with it, read my cousins blog... kristibowers.blogspot.com) and from what I understand they are dealing with some tough stuff right now, getting ready for Kaleb to go back to the hospital as he is resistant to some of the meds.(again read Kristi's blog for more details..) I wish we lived closer to them so that I could be there to spend time with them.

Please pray for Kaleb and his family, for Mike as he heads to Afghanistan, and for the Jon situation. I really am not sure what more to ask...I just need God to give me some strength, peace and healing during this all. Seems as if this is a tough season for a lot of people, and on top of all this I am dealing with smaller but still stressful personal issues (boy problems, working wayy too much, missing my best friends...)...Prayers would be fabulous, and please let me know how I can pray for you all as well.

Love and miss you Californians! Was going to visit this summer but my work sched and finances are not going to allow for that...hopefully in the fall? We will see....

I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me....
I can do ALL things in HIM who strengthens me....

Tough Stuff.

2009-05-02T17:31:00.001-07:00

Finally got to talk to Jon. There is so much I wanted to ask him but...yeah. Complicated.
I am soo fighting the urge to play the "what if" game. I feel like my entire life has been such an emotional rollercoaster...not sure what Gods purpose is in all of this, but to hear a good friend of mine in such a bad situation and hearing what he is dealing with in prison is absolutely heartbreaking. I am relieved and happy to hear that his faith is strengthening and that he recognizes that his faith is all he has left. As dangerous as it may be, I will continue to be a light, support and friend to Jon. I just know that is he not a bad person.

Kyla and other awesome blessings...

2009-05-02T12:44:00.001-07:00

Today has been pretty good...Opened at work, was a super busy day which is fine by me (makes time go faster... There was a puppy adoption outside on the grass today and I decided to start volunteering with a rescue shelter, my dad visited me and I got a lot accomplished...good work day.
When I came home and took mom, dad and Tiff to the BEST pizza place I have ever been to! Prosciuttos Pizza off exit 28..to die for (Thanks Jo Ellen for introducing me to it!!!) And then my mom and I shopped around fresh market for awhile. Nice afternoon!

So, This has been a good week. Spent some time with new friends, and I am so happy that I have them in my life.
I am going to backtrack for a second to about 5 months ago and explain how I met one of my closest friends out here...

I was working one night (during the height of my homesickness and depression)...Apparently it was a Thursday (good memory Kyla!) When a lady came up and we got to chatting about the area and the weather and other random things. I mentioned how I was new to the area and hesitantly told her I was having a hard time. This lady then warmly welcomed me to NC and said she would pray for me, then took a seat in the lobby of Starbucks.
A couple hours later, she walked up with a girl and said to her "Have you met Brittany?" the girl said no, and this lady introduced me to my new friend Kyla. Kyla was in a very similar situation as me, had just moved out here from PA and was having a hard time also finding a job and making good quality friends. We exchanged information and have been hanging out ever since. She has been such a blessing. It is so nice to have someone to hang out with who has the same morals and values and is in the same place in life as I am...God is so cool.

So Kyla and I complained for awhile about our lack of jobs and friends and lives, and in retrospect, it is comical to the both of us. As we sat chatting over dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise the other night, we decided that without a doubt God has a great sense of humor and loves to just rock our worlds. We were two people who were trying to figure life out on our terms, and He laughed at our plans and slowly revealed his own. Kyla now has an awesome job with promotion potential and a peace about things, as do I. Its been cool to have someone to go through this learning experience with. We has such a good time the other night laughing about things from our silly closet nerd/alcoholic waiter, to our crazy coworkers, and then realizing how far we have come the past few months. I am learning more and more each day.

I randomly met a girl last week who just moved here, also from CA, and seems to be in the same exact position that I was in just a few months ago. I am excited to hopefully find a new friend in her and hear her story.

Along with Kyla there have been a few other people who I now consider my friends. I have finally learned to let go of my stubborn "refuse to like NC" attitude and am getting closer to some amazing and unique people I have met around here. I really never thought I would adapt, but it is happening. (That is not to say I won't be back home eventually friends! Just give me some time :) ) I still miss my good friends like CRAZY, but distance has just been another one of those "road humps" (silly southern term!) in life that I've learned to overcome.

My Savior, He can move the mountains....

2009-05-02T02:03:00.000-07:00

5:03 am, Saturday morning.
I have a few minutes to spare before stepping into another busy 8 hour workday...put my ipod on shuffle and let the first song that came on set the tone for my day...which, is a little risky. Seeing as I have about a thousand songs and every genre imaginable (I LOVE music.)

My favorite Hillsong song came on...fabulous way to start my day....

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

My Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave

I have a lot to blog about today after work...lots of cool God things happening in my life. Will spend some time on that when I have more time to spare.

Have a fabulous day!

Surreal.

2009-04-30T11:46:00.000-07:00

I have been writing Jon, probably sent him 4 or 5 letters since this whole ordeal happened, just begging him to please stay strong, be honest, have faith, and do the right thing.
I got a letter from him in the mail today.
It completely breaks my heart. I know he is a good person. I don't believe he did this.
I just want to know the truth. Sometimes not knowing is the hardest thing...if I knew what to believe I could rest easy. Its all too weird and sickening.

Lonely.

2009-04-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

I've decided that my screened porch on a warm spring night may be my favorite place to be these days...watching the sun set behind the breezy trees is breathtaking. The natural beauty of this place is unbelievable.
I've been getting kinda lonely these days, as I realize how much I would love to have someone special to spend these gorgeous sunsets with. I finally feel as if I am at a place in my life where I am totally happy with the person that I have become and would love to have someone to love on. I pride myself on being a good friend and girlfriend when in a relationship...my favorite things to do are make little creative "just thinking of you" gifts, cooking fabulous meals together, going on hikes and taking silly pictures, and even just hanging out with our families...I'm ready for it. I guess Mr. Right is still working on himself and getting to a point where I fit into his life, I am just getting a little impatient. I've been the convenient girlfriend too many times, I want my prince charming who is willing to put as much into a relationship as I am. Those of you that know me well know that patience is not a big strength of mine..but I'm workin on it! And I also know that good things are well worth the wait, so thats what I will continue to do, patiently enjoying these sunsets alone...

Better in Time

2009-04-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

This week has been so much fun! God has such a cool way with timing...
I am so thankful for my crazy unpredictable life. One year ago today our house sold. The growing, learning, and changing that has occurred over this past year is completely unbelievable.
I have met some of the most amazing people, had the tough but needed experience of figuring out who my true friends are, and have learned what it really means to have faith. The tears and stress of this past year are more than outweighed by that life lesson in itself.
I have written about the struggles I have been faced with lately, but I am going to take this chance to write about some praises and things I am thankful for that have happened within this past year...

...Meeting Tyler. He is one of the most talented, genuine and amazing people I have ever met. Huge blessing having him in my life.
...Getting closer to my family...driving across the country, being in a new place with no one to turn to but eachother...a lot to handle at times but has created a bond so amazing.
...Experiencing seasons! Sun! Hurricane type storms! SNOW! New growth of spring...Such a cool and refreshing change.
...Making new friends out here in NC (finally!) Glad I took the time to be picky, totally worth it!
...Being able to TRAVEL! Driving cross country, Visiting Ty in Illinois, Hawaii with the Amneus family, back to CA for Halloween, Back to CA over Vday, EUROPE this fall!!!!!!!

Could keep goin, Those are just my highlights..
I am sitting on my porch again, but its 10:30pm and I am exhausted from a long day on my feet at work...its beyond perfect outside right now. Sitting out here in my jammies with my country music (yes I am conforming to the songs of the south...)Its warm and slightly breezy, bugs are making noise in the trees...its so peaceful.

I am so thankful.

What a gorgeous day!

2009-04-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

I woke up too early this morning to my dog wagging her tail at me and attempting to jump up (unsuccessfully...she has short stubby legs) on my bed, and my little sister smiling and watching me wake up to this. Realizing it was early and I had plenty of time before having to get to work, I decided to make myself a cup of coffee and take my pup and my laptop out on the screened porch...
So here I sit, on an absolutely GORGEOUS Carolina morning, and this is honestly the first time I have taken the time to just sit, relax, and enjoy the nature of this place God has put me in. It is quiet and yet bustling with life out here this morning...the birds singing in the trees, the squirrels frolicking and enjoying the sunshine...even the catarpillars are out here enjoying the day!
I think I have been so stuck in that "hurry up and go" mentality of Orange County, that I haven't allowed myself to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak..to really enjoy the opportunities I have been given and the blessings that have been handed to me in this scary and unsure new life I have going on. I have been so closed off to making new friends and venturing out that I hadn't really realized the things I have in front of me. Life is TOUGH and trying, yes. But, with the bad and devestating, I am realizing that God has placed new beginnings and opportunities right in front of me. (this is going to sound cheesey but its true...) The spring time represents new beginnings, from baby birds, to lil caterpillars looking for a place to grow and change, to baby flower buds peeking up through the soil...maybe now is my new beginning. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, right? Starting fresh in every way possible...financially, with friends, bonding more with my family....leaving the negativity and shallowness behind, looking forward to literally traveling the world, developing new friendships and deepening and maintaining the long distance ones that I already have...What a gift I have been given!!!!

...Quick update on my friend Jon...he plead not guilty to first degree murder, and is posting 1 million dollars for bail, hopefully giving him a couple weeks out of that horrible prison until his next court apprearance. He spoke to our mutual friend Mark for about an hour the yesterday, asking for prayers through this. I honestly do not know what happened, but I will find out soon enough. And regardless, he is my friend and needs God more now than ever. No one is ever in this position of being good friends with an accused murderer, and it is beyond scary. But I truly do not believe he is a monster or even a bad person, call me crazy if you want to, but I stand by my words and definitely appreciate any prayers that you may offer about Jon, and Kates family grieving her death.

On a happier note, check out these lyrics...

Is it fair to say I was lured away?
By endless distractions and lovelier attractions then
Or fairer still, my own free will
Is the better one to blame for this familiar mess
I've made again

So I would understand if You were out of patience
And I would understand if I was out of chances

Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn
When the music is through or so it seems to be
Let me sing a new song, old things gone
Every day it's true, You make all Your mercies new

The distance left between East and West
Is how far You would go to forget the debt I'd owe
And thrown into the sea, the wicked ways in me
Will never have a chance to wash back on the sand

So I would understand if You would make me pay
I would understand lying in the bed I made again

Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn
When the music is through or so it seems to be
Let me sing a new song, old things gone
Every day it's true, You make all Your mercies new

Up comes the sun on every one of us
Gone, gone, gone the guilt and shame that knew Your name

Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn
When the music is through or so it seems to be
Let me sing a new song, old things gone
Every day it's true, You make all Your mercies new

This is my favorite Nichole Nordeman song. And what a perfect one for this gorgeous and inspiring day.

And now I am off to do laundry, work out, and get ready for another long shift at the 'Bucks. Wooo! :)

I am awful at this blogging stuff...

2009-04-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

But I feel like I need to make a point to keep it going, especially being so far removed from my ex-home...and theres a lot going on in my life that I would love to share and ask for prayers for. So let me sum this up best I can...

My attitude has improved drastically over the past couple months (a little help from my friends prozac and xanax, but improvement nonetheless..). I am finally at a place where I am content...content being removed from the norm, content with my surroundings, and content with the idea of starting a new life. It has been a scary and uncertain rollercoaster the past few months, not gunna lie. In addition to MOVING across the COUNTRY, finding out who my true friends are, and realizing God is God and I am most definitely NOT, there has been some devestation that has caused me to really take a step back and say "woah"...
My Grammy was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple months ago. Luckily, they caught it early on and they were able to just do a lumpectomy and radiation for 6+ weeks and now she is looking and feeling good, and on her way to moving out here! Praise the Lord! Scary/stressful couple months for her and our family, but just another learning and growing experience.
On April 5th at about 2 am I got a frantic phone call from a friend, telling me to read an article he had sent me. It was then that I was informed that my good friend Jon(often referred to as my lil bro), had alledgedly murdered his girlfriend Kate and is in jail with bail set at 1 million dollars. After doing some research on the timeline of events, I realized we had spoken after Kate's death occured. Jon is the LAST person I wouldve expected this from, and I really struggled to grasp the situation. I was interrogated by a detective, asked to send all my computer conversations to the police...it really threw me for a loop. Jons arraignment was today...still waiting to hear what his plea was. My prayer is that he does the right thing. I truly do not believe he is a bad person. That may be so wrong of me to think that way, and I am grieving the loss of Kate, but no one is ever on this side of things...friends with the murderer. Surreal and sickening are the only words I have for that.
It was as if all the emotion I had been feeling welled up inside came to a head a week ago last thursday...my mom had just gotten out of bed about tens mins earlier, we were all standing in the kitchen talking (rare for the whole fam to be in the same room at the same time..)
And lightening hit my favorite tree in our backyard.
The noise, the emotion, the reaction of my family members...panic attack! The tree literally EXPLODED pelting the side of our house with small to feet long daggars of wood...shattering the window right above my moms side of the bed...embedding glass in her sheets where she had been just minutes before...blowing out our TV, directv, electricity hitting many appliances, ruined our fence, tore our screened porch...craaazyyy. Brought our family and neighborhood together in a weird inexplainable way though. The timing of it worked out in so many weird ways...God really is the Protector. There have been so many things that I don't think I, WE, shouldve made it through as well as we have. And yet, here we are. If nothing else, this move has knit us so tightly as a family, I truly believe we can handle anything together a million times better now than 9 months ago.
The job market has been at a standstill with the economy and all, for both me and my father (prayers that he can get a great job asap!)...for me, this was a total blessing in disguise, as I am going to EUROPE the entire month of september! Starbucks really is the only job I could have that would let me get away with taking off a month at a time. So, to Europe I go! Most people go to Vegas and get trashed for their 21st bday...instead, I will be with my best friend on a two week cruise to 9 countries, then wine tasting in Italy, enjoying the real Oktoberfest in Munich, taking a sound of music bus tour through Salzburg and Vienna...CANNOT WAIT! I dont know how it all worked out so perfectly but we got some AMAZING deals on some fabulous places..I think we will see a total of 11 or 12 countries over a span of 4 weeks. TRAVEL NOW PEOPLE! Its so do able!
Prayers that it goes smoothly would be soo appreciated...
Also, my friend Mike Cicerone is in the Marines and getting shipped out anytime between now and early May to Afghanistan. Please keep him in your prayers...I hear this is a pretty bad time to be over there...
So that pretty much the summary of the low lows and high highs...I have so much to look forward to, and have NO clue of where I will be at beyond my trip in Sept. Could be here for another year, could move back to CA...really, no idea. I figure this is the time to make memories and take risks, I couldnt ask for a better support group to have behind me through this all. Looks like I am the next in line in my family to get married...gotta get out and see the world before I am ready to do that so now is the time!
I really enjoy reading my family and friends blogs and seeing whats up with you all and how I can pray for you...I will try to be more regular with keeping this up..try being the key word :)

Love and Miss you all!!

Been Awhile..

2008-08-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know where to start really. I'm pissed. I'm hurt. I'm lonely. My sisters are miserable. My mother is devestated. My father...who knows. Its just HARD. You know how when you're in the middle of a really tough and lifechanging situation, sometimes it is really hard to see beyond what is right in front of you and just have faith? Although God has worked everything in my life out perfectly thus far, I am honestly struggling so much. I don't have the passion for my faith that I used to have, the people here are SO mean to me, I am away from home...my extended family, the few true friends I have left, Tyler, crave, my job as an Esthetician, the consistant schedule I did have...ugh. It is so frustrating to realize how good I had it and that things won't ever be the same. I don't regret moving here-I regret not appreciating the people, opportunities and things that I had more. It has been really good to get out of"the oc" for awhile-away from the gossip, the drama, the stress...but I feel as if I had my learning experience and now I am ready to take what I learned and go back to my life. Which is currently financially impossible. I seriously can't stand it here. Its beautiful, a great vacation spot-but the people are just crazy. I can't keep doing this..

In the blink of an eye...

2008-05-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

You put me here for a reason
You have a mission for me
You knew my name and You called it
Long before I learned to breathe
Sometimes I feel disappointed
By the way I spend my time
How can I further Your kingdom
When I'm so wrapped up in mine?

In a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive
for a blink of an eye

And though I'm living a good life
Can my life be something great?
I have to answer the question
Before it's too late

Cause in a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye

If I give the very best of me
That becomes my legacy
So tell me what am I waiting for?
What am I waiting for?